On Privilege
I’ve thought a lot about privilege these days.
Not just white privilege, which is an obvious hot button topic of conversation for the last few years (and rightfully so), but all the privileges that come with growing up with a relatively stable family life, a solid job or at least halfway decent career prospects, a US passport (pre-Covid, of course) to leave the country with on a whim, an education that has been broad enough to give me perspective on the world and the ability to critically think in new situations, etc. etc.
There are so many things that I take for granted as given.
Having a warm bed to sleep in at night, seeing the future as full of possibilities for my career prospects, knowing that if I wanted to I could live almost anywhere and find a way to make it, but also knowing that if I happened to fail I always have family that would help me to pick up the pieces.
I can’t imagine having a job and working your ass off day in and day out but still barely being able to afford a place to live and instead turning your car into your humble abode out of necessity. Or being content with a job that you bust your ass in and sometimes need to work 72 hour work weeks for that pays $20 an hour. Or being told that you’ve spent the last six years in the US getting an education so you can get a dope new job but now you’re not allowed to legally work in the US ever because the only way to stay in the place you call home is via a spousal visa.
Even being content doing the same general type of job for the rest of my life sounds like shit to me. Working in the same industry, doing the same type of work, Monday through Friday for years on end sounds significantly far from ideal.
Even in terms of education, while I can see learning gaps in all the programs I’ve been in since high school, some people do not even get the chance to finish high school because they have to work and support their families, or go to college because it’s too expensive, or have the opportunity to pause their life and quit their job to go back to grad school at the age of 30.
Studying for the Certified Specialist of Wine (CSW) exam with lots and lots of color coded maps, colored pencils, tracing paper, and of course some Starbucks to keep the blood flowing.
I’ve always been able to learn whatever it is that I had the desire to learn more about. I’ve taken wine classes and business classes and chocolate making ones that hilariously enough counted for college credit and learned how to lift fingerprints from a crime scene and how to execute intricate dance combinations in a variety of genres and about serial killers and even got to write my own creative nonfiction short story. I’ve been able to take online classes even in the time of corona because I have stable internet access and a laptop and a space to call my own where no one is constantly talking in the background of the Zoom call.
I’ve always had people pushing me and encouraging me and telling me that I had to go to college even though I didn’t have a freaking clue what I wanted to study or what I wanted to be when I grew up - fun fact: I still don’t have a clue, but let’s call that bit a work in progress. I’ve always had people telling me that I could be whatever I wanted to be; a doctor, a lawyer, a dance teacher, a stay-at-home mom, anything.
Can you imagine the differences in growing up if you’re told you literally have carte blanche to do whatever your heart desires versus if you’re always told you’re a piece of shit and won’t amount to anything and you’re wasting your time going to school?
On the Great Wall of China, circa 2013
My travels so far along this journey called life have given me the opportunity to meet lots of different people from lots of different walks of life - a privilege that most people either do not get just because of lack of exposure or choose not to exercise.
I never understood those people who are content in their little bubble and are happy never to leave their small corner of the world. Looking at you, Long Islanders who rarely venture into Manhattan or god forbid, one of those ‘other’ boroughs. Or those people who are fine with only talking to other folks who think like them and look like them and have the same viewpoints and values as them on everything from how kids should be raised to what constitutes a good meal.
Even in the dating scene, I don’t understand how you can just stick to the same narrow set of parameters over and over again that you assume you’re most attracted to and will be the most compatible with even if you’ve always had meh results in the past. How can you not branch out and try meeting someone new who might have the possibility of expanding your horizons and adding color to your life that you never even thought was possible?
How do you expect to grow as a person if you don’t get out there and try something new?
I feel grateful to have been able to experience the things that I have experienced thus far in my life, for the people I’ve been able to meet and chat with and get to know and become friends with, for the learning opportunities I’ve had even though they might have been annoying af at the time, and for the way I grew up and my family that always tried to do that right thing for me, and for the people in my life who, for better or worse, made me who I am today.
