Lightbulb moments that run the gamut from work to life to music (with only a small amount of complaining).

Consulting is literally a bunch of old guys sitting in a room making decisions about things they assume to be true based on some second-hand knowledge. 

Okay, maybe not always old guys - if I have anything to do about it at least, which, I’d say I do, as a newly minted consultant myself. But the actual “consulting” itself is always using some tangential experience and some heavy Googling (aka “researching”) to inform this tens-of-thousands-of-dollars engagement before them. And yet they (we?) are the experts. And you (they) pay exorbitant amounts for some (hopefully) good advice and a pretty appropriately branded slide deck.

Even from a professional growth stand point, these “old guys” make decisions that will affect your career and your day-to-day happiness based on what they think they know about you. But no one who has the power to unilaterally make these decisions rarely actually consults you. Instead, career paths and projects that you are slated to be involved in occur in a “we think this is in your best interest” sort of manner… mostly because it’ll keep the client who keeps adding on engagements (aka paying for your salary) happy. Yes, the fact that it’s oddly ironic that no one consults the consultant is not lost on me.

If you are not your own advocate in life, how the fuck do you expect anyone else to be?

This one is BIG. Like so big I’m really not sure how it took me a whole 32 years to have this epiphany, big. Bottom line - you can’t go around expecting other people to do what you want… unless you ask. And if you ask, and if you literally tell them point blank what you want or what you need or what you would like to happen, and they neglect your request, even though they are fully fucking capable of meeting or exceeding said request… Fuck ‘em. At that point what is there to do anymore? Seriously… do you beg next? What about offering up a kidney? Or a half a lung? Screw that shit. 

If you had a job where your bosses never took you seriously and you never got that promotion or that raise or even just a freaking better job title even though you saved their asses on multiple occasions and were hands down amazing at your job, would you stick around for the long haul? Or would you go somewhere else where your value is known and your worth is respected?

Same shit goes for the people in your life. These people you surround yourself with, they, presumably like you, are not mind readers. We all often need a little nudge in the right direction. A little sneak peak into the how to make you orgasm until you can’t breathe playbook, if you will. However, if once given that nudge, you adamantly stay in your lane even though it’s vanishing right before your eyes and you straight up choose not to venture down the new path with the figurative red carpet on it… well, toodaloo, motherfucker.

There is an optimal place in my house to listen to music. 

Besides the shower, which is obviously the number one music-listening location regardless of your bathroom setup, the place with the best sound quality is by far, the dead center of my house just about three feet from the bathroom door while facing east (or west - for the equally optimal view of the backyard and sunset).

Not only is the sound quality just fantastic, but there’s also enough room to fully extend your wingspan - aka there’s plenty of room for a mid-afternoon jam out sesh to whatever beats keep you sane while working from home.

It’s slightly unnerving what you uncover when you are literally always home. Speaking of which…

Why would anyone not want to work remote forever?

Okay, anyone who knows me should know for certain that I am a big fan of post-work happy hours. But commuting and either driving an hour (each way!) in bumper to bumper traffic or fighting other sleep deprived worker bees for that coveted window seat on a train is just not ideal. 

If you’re still worried that people are not productive without the watchful eye of a manager creeping in the distance I have one question for you… how many times did you see your office mates take coffee breaks? Or take cigarette breaks when they don’t smoke? Or fall asleep with their eyes open while staring at an Excel spreadsheet and pretending to be hard at work?

All that being said, I definitely miss those little acquaintance interactions that one would normally have throughout the course of a workday. Seeing the same people walk into the same building as you at the same time every morning, chit chatting with the security guard about his granddaughter’s horseback riding lessons, listening to drama on the other side of the office unfold that you (thankfully) have absolutely nothing to do with but are happy to enjoy some popcorn while it unfolds, impromptu moments to stop for a beer after a particularly harrowing day at work and just bullshit with your coworkers for a second… My interactions these days are exclusively limited to my immediate family and people that I actively seek out communications with.

I guess that means I’m still on the fence about the permanent WFH life thing.

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