After traveling for the last few months, I found myself just wanting to talk more and more about New York City. One particular night I found myself waxing downright poetic about NYC and why it’s amazing and awesome and insert other overly positive adjectives here. It made me realize that even though I’ve traveled all over the US at this point, I just can’t help but write about New York first.

A new friend of mine told me he visited New York once… and he absolutely hated it. He found it cold and harsh and too busy and he thought that everyone was just constantly running everywhere and not taking the time to smell the flowers and appreciate the world around them and it bothered him immensely.

I realized that all of those seemingly negative things are what I truly love about New York City, but just not at first glance.

Everyone’s always busy.

The fact that everyone is always running around in this city gives it an incredible energy if you are receptive to it. Everyone is moving and running and going so you just can’t help but to do the same yourself. It’s like you’re caught in a current flowing down a fast-moving river with some occasional rocks in the way, but most likely you’ll make it out the other side with barely a scratch and a damn good story to tell.

We don’t take the time to smell the roses.

Sure, we’re not stopping to smell every flower along the way, probably because we’ve passed the same damn flower every single day on the way to work and truth be told sometimes it smells like bad fish on a warm summer morning if you get too close.

New York isn’t great because it’s quiet and slow. New York is great because it has energy. It practically vibrates off the buildings as you walk by. Even during the lockdown it still has the same energy, albeit not quite as much at the wee hours of the morning with the bars closed early. It’s not about the number of people on the street; there’s just always this buzz that lingers and begs for you to go on an adventure, if only to the corner store to grab some milk, because who knows what you might see or who you might bump into or what you might discover on the way.

New Yorkers are cold.

We don’t give help freely, but I have never been in a situation where I asked for help and was left to fend for myself.

No, we do not walk up to random people on the street to wish them a ‘good day.’ In fact, if I think I see someone looking confused on a street corner holding a map and squinting at the nearby street signs, I will most likely not offer to help. And only once in my entire life of commuting to date have I ever helped someone at a subway stop that is struggling to figure out how to use a MetroCard.

But really, can you blame us? Most of us have mastered (and practice regularly) the art of just walking past and ignoring the crazy stuff happening around us. We all know that if you acknowledge the weird shit happening nearby, chances are it will follow you and/or potentially harass you right around the corner.

Also, don’t even think about making eye contact and small talk with a stranger on the subway. We’re also masters at sitting directly next to someone, so close in fact that you feel like you a marshmallow that has been squished into a packed row during the winter months, and completely ignoring the odd things that come out of their mouth and the weird sounds they might be making (note that these are two different things; disturbed yet?).

All that unfriendliness being said, if you were to ask a New Yorker for help, they would in a heartbeat. At the very least you’d get a quick, “the entrance is your next right!” or “swipe it the other way!” as they continued on their hurried journey. No, they’re not going to hang around and chat about the weather or give you a nice warm pat on the back, but they will instead give you the best quintessentially New York gift - a short sweet answer that’s actually helpful.

New Yorkers hate tourists.

If you visited New York City and got off a subway station and stood in the middle of a busy walkway to figure out where you were going instead of moving off to the side so people can pass, we hate you. If you visited the city just to go to Times Square and eat at Bubba Gumps in Times Square, we hate you. If you loitered on the left side (read: the passing side) of an escalator going in either direction and did not shift over to the other side even when a line of people formed behind you, we hate you.

But also, we’ll forgive you if you learn and just don’t do any of the above again in our presence.

It’s too hard to live in New York.

Yep, rent is crazy stupid, and even buying a monthly subway pass will cost you a pretty penny. But don’t all great things come with effort?

New York City is great because you have to have a certain amount of gumption to make it. Note: I did not say salary alone, though that certainly is a bonus. You need to be able to deal with all the above bullshit and be self-sufficient to an extent so that you’re not a sad puddle of mush because no one is randomly talking to you on the way into work in the morning.

Salary helps, of course, but at the end of the day you regardless of how much you make, you will still find yourself on the same subway car or in the same neighborhood or standing in line outside the same pizza place as everyone else. Tourists and locals and families with three little children and single WASPy commuters, people from uptown or downtown or Brooklyn or (god forbid) New (Dirty) Jersey, well-to-do folks with real brand name purses next to a homeless guy who just slept on the subway last night across from cast-members of the Broadway show Lion King who just started belting out a tune next to a strange looking fellow wearing what appears to be a full blown gas mask (before corona-times), all going to the same places and sitting on the same train cars and walking the same streets and seeking out the chicken and rice trucks or the corner grocery store or the library that turns into a speakeasy.

It’s amazing that all of these people from different backgrounds with different goals and plans for the future and tastes in food and music and styles can coexist in the same place together.

That is what I love about New York City.

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