I realized I might be pregnant on a Friday.

The day started off like nothing special, but in true your-life-is-about-to-change-fashion things quickly escalated in a way that ended with me making an emergency trip to a CVS to buy not one, but two different kinds of pregnancy tests.

I woke up at 7am like usually and immediately hopped on my computer to start dealing with some client-related bullshit. For those of you I speak to regularly, there’s one particular client that has been in my life for the past year who shall not be named that has been driving me crazy for the past 11 months, give or take.

My first meeting of the day with my best friends aka the runaway winners of the ‘worst clients ever’ award sent me into an absolute fucking tizzy. Thank god this meeting was virtual and I made the decision months back to no longer actually go on video for meetings with these clowns. (II have zero chance of putting on a successful poker face when dealing with morons, so I hedged my bets on this one).

But still, this one thirty-minute meeting that spilled over into an hour had me straight up enraged. And “enraged” honestly might be an understatement. I was shaking with anger when I hung up, ready to throw my computer straight out the window. I think I even let out some garbled incoherent “ahhfuckthesemotherfuckerassholecuntbags!” directed toward my screen and half-hoped that I was still connected and they could hear my frustration at their stupidity.

Thirty-minutes of being hot and bothered (in a bad way) later, I cancelled the rest of my meetings and decided to take the rest of the day off. I already worked my 40-hours for the week and then some and literally could give a shit if anyone was looking for me to be online and available.

Fifteen minutes later I took a shower and I cried. I am typically not a crier in any of the situations. But there I was, sitting on the floor of the tub, with big blubbery wet ugly tears, that just would not stop. Why, you might ask? I had no idea.

√ Sign you might be pregnant #1 - Irrational Mood Swings

After I stopped crying (read: well after I finished up in the shower and got dressed and brushed out my hair), I decided I needed to get out of the house and do some things for me, which on this fateful day meant going to the chiropractor.

I picked up a coffee and snack from Starbucks (because I’m an OG gold card member and yes I realize I might have a cake pop problem) and headed on my way with some on and off welling up of my eyes throughout the 45 minute ride.

Oof! For some reason, my back adjustment felt a little odd this time. Normally I get cracked and manipulated and like magic I am walking straight again and have that ever-so-slight tingling release feeling throughout my body. Only this time, I didn’t just feel it in my back, or my hips, or my neck, as might be expected. This time, my boobs hurt. Like I actually winced a little when my chiropractor pressed down on my upper back and my tatas were squeezed onto the table.

√ Sign you might be pregnant #2 - Tender Breasts

I started doing some mental calculations in my head at this point.

Why was I so freaking upset out of nowhere for hours when I have been dealing with the same b.s. with the same client for the past year and not much from their side has really changed?

Why did my boobs hurt when I know they only sometimes do around my period but yet I was nowhere close to that window?

I think I actually felt myself up at this point in the car on the way home just to be certain I wasn’t losing my mind. And lo and behold, that stabbing almost slightly painful feeling was still there when I gave them even a light squeeze or a single poke.

I remember thinking that I must be overthinking the situation. I took my first sip of my go-to ‘bucks beverage (a flat white with almond milk) and it practically made my stomach turn over. I first brushed it off and assumed that reaction was because my stomach was mostly empty and I was surviving on a lone birthday cake-flavored cake pop.

√ Sign you might be pregnant #3 - Food Aversions

I made it back home and was still contemplating all that had transpired that Friday, still shooing away the nagging voice inside my head that something was off.

As I was getting changed back into comfy clothes, because the COVID years and work-from-home life has rekindled my love for the soft, loose-fitting clothing of my youth, I caught a glimpse of myself without a top on in the mirror.

Puzzled, I stopped pulling my shirt on at the neck and stared. Were my boobs bigger?? I gave each a little push from the bottom and watched them jiggle more and form more cleavage than I’ve ever had in my life. Yep, definitely bigger.

√ Sign you might be pregnant #4 - Bigger (but only slightly) Tatas

So that’s the lead up to how I ended up making some bad excuse to go to CVS to pick up some pregnancy tests that kicked off (at least our knowledge) of this whole whirlwind of a situation.

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